I Love...Motherhood

Today I Love That I'm a Mother!

Because it's the last day of my Month of Love, I couldn't think of anything I love more.

But, I haven't always been a mother.

I remember being a little girl, sitting in my class at church and when they asked us what we wanted to be when we grew up, I remember responding, "I just want to be a mom." And that was the truth. I didn't want to be anything else. I didn't have any grand plans for my life...except to be a mom. And I started getting it all planned out in my head at a very early age.

It started with my dolls. I played with my dolls like CRAZY! I named them and took them everywhere with me. They were my babies and I loved them. As I got older, I planned my 20+ children's names. 

I still remember Tiffany and Tyler were my favorites for a long time!

Then the plans for exactly HOW MANY kids I was going to have. Again, I had it all planned out. 

I even had a set of twins planned in there somewhere! 

hahahaha!

Yes, I was one of THOSE crazy girls.

When I first got married, I thought, "Here we go!" and I was so excited that I would finally get to have the one thing I had been dreaming about my whole life.

But, there was obviously a different plan for me. 

And it was very painful and extremely difficult to accept that.

To have to come to grips with the fact that I would never have children of my own seemed like some nightmare that I just wanted to wake up from. How do you make sense of that? How do you learn to be ok with that? 

For me, it took a lot of tears. It took a lot of prayers. 

It took a lot of encouragement. and it took a great deal of faith.

I feel like I finally was able to let go and trust that Heavenly Father was in control of my life and knew what was best for me. I learned to trust Him and His timing.

But, it was so hard.

Now, I look at my crazy life and there are days 

that I don't know what to think. 

I feel like it has been this whirlwind of unexpected miracles.

To be a mother is something I cherish.
 It's something that I try really hard not to take for granted.

It's something that I find great joy in. 

In my opinion, there is no job more noble than that of a mother.

Warning: 

Too many photos of me ahead!

But, this is my way of kind of scrapbooking my life as a mom, 

so just scroll through them quickly if you would like!

I'm not a perfect mother.

I never will be.

To be a mother doesn't mean you have to be perfect. 

It doesn't mean you aren't going to be tired. 

It doesn't mean you won't be overwhelmed.

It doesn't mean you won't be cranky.

To be a mother, means you get up every day and you keep trying. You keep loving your kids. You keep giving it everything you can that day. It means you do your very best, and trust that the Lord will take care of the rest. 

Today, I love being a mother. 

Not because I'm super-terrific at it, but because it's something that I have to work really hard at. 

And because I work so hard at it, I find great value in it. 

I'm very grateful I have such forgiving and loving kids.

They see my imperfections every day.....and they love me anyway.

Today, I love them.